18 hours ago / 79375 notes
“I am no expert on love,
But I have a few suggestions to keeping your love alive.
1- Don’t fall asleep angry. But if you do, wake up in the middle of the night and hold her as close as you can.
2- Laugh during sex, especially if you bump heads. If you aren’t laughing, you’re with the wrong person.
3- If you don’t feel comfortable dancing naked with your partner and showing them your four chins when you laugh, you’re doing it wrong.
4- Romance isn’t for everyone, but a post-it note in their lunchbox telling them they’re the best will never go amiss.
5- Don’t cling to them at parties. Dance with friends and spend time with acquaintances, but wink at each other across the room.
6- Keep everything 50/50, or you will fall out of balance.
7- Stop comparing your relationship to others- you are you, don’t try to be someone else.
8- Be kind. Give them space when they need it, but be their home when they come back.
9- Be proud to love them.
10- Support them through whatever they do in life, even if it’s a stupid decision. People need to make their own mistakes, but be there if it falls apart, and never say ‘I told you so’.
And most of all, love with your whole heart, or don’t love at all.”
19 hours ago / 29783 notes
“You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.”
1 day ago / 422356 notes
“Don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.”